Fellowship: the Secret Weapon

In the 1990's, runaway hit series 'Seinfeld' changed the face of comedy with its unusual style, odd stories, ridiculous personalities and 'about nothing' dynamic. Many television executives referred to the show in interviews as a 'water cooler' show, meaning that people at work the next day would start chatting about it at the water cooler. This was a term that denoted the success of the show.

At any typical Life Group meeting, most of us enjoy the small talk, 'water cooler' conversations and relational dynamics that go on before and after the 'official' content of the evening. This time is spent catching up on life's events and developments, swapping stories about your latest vacations and bantering about work, school, marriage, t.v. or whatever else as you munch on some goodies, or perhaps even dinner.

I think it's safe to say that the best stuff often happens during this time of fellowship, and as a Life Group Leader I think it's just as important for us to be thoughtful and deliberate about it as we are about the rest of the evening! In fact, many people underestimate the value of this 'secret weapon'.

So, what kind of things should be considered when thinking about fellowship?

• Do you meet people at the door as they arrive? This can help them feel more welcome, especially on a first visit.
• Do you go out of your way to make conversation with newcomers? Putting a priority on guests will put them at ease!
• Do you allow sufficient time before group begins for fellowship? We don't 'start' the meeting until 15 or 20 minutes after the 'official' start time, just because we feel it's so important!
• Is the atmosphere in your home or host home warm and inviting? Maybe having some music on, food out, conversation starters ready will help!
• Are you in a frame of mind that is conducive to social interaction? If you just walked in the door yourself, you may need to step out for a few minutes to breathe...

There are many other things that can come into play, but I like to think that simply remembering the purpose of Life Groups can help a great deal; it's about relationships, so don't forget your secret weapon!

New Feature: Extra Credit

You'll notice in the coming weeks that I will be adding some 'features' to the blog - these will be posts that appear weekly under recurring titles, with a repeating theme.

The first of these is 'Extra Credit' - a weekly posting that offers additional questions or ideas for your Life Group to use!

For this week's 'Extra Credit', I'd like to share a question that my wife brought up yesterday as we were discussing this week's Group Guide, which covers 1 Peter 3:8-9 and talks about living in Harmony with others. The question was this: How would you define the qualities of compassion, love, sympathy and humility and how are they different from each other?

Feel free to add this question into the mix at your Life Group meeting this week if you like!

Can't We All Just Get Along?

Pastor Mark's sermon this morning, on 1 Peter 3:8-9, seems especially relevant as we enter week 7 of this Life Groups session.

We all have varying degrees of harmony in our various relationships, no matter who we are. There are people we get along famously with, those we have little in common with but respect nonetheless, and then there are those who just rub us the wrong way.

You know who I'm talking about - those oddballs that you just don't understand, no matter how hard you try. We find them un-relatable, annoying, frustrating and bothersome. We'd rather avoid passing them in a hallway, let alone developing a relationship with them!

If you're in a Life Group, odds are you've even found one or two such people in it with you! If not, you no doubt have already thought of the names of a couple that you work with, are related to or cross paths with in some other way.

Guess what? Jesus loves them, too, and that means we are called to do the same! I'm not suggesting that it will be easy, but if this short passage in I Peter tells me anything, it's that I'm to treat everyone, everyone EVERYONE with love, respect, compassion, sympathy and humility.

How about you?

Why Sermon-Based?

As our Life Groups ministry is really just getting off the ground, people are just starting to understand the model we are using. Some have been accustomed to doing things differently, others are just new to the group concept entirely, but everybody is encountering change.

One such change is that our groups are now mostly using a sermon-based curriculum, which we call the 'Group Guide'. This guide is created by our Senior Pastor, Mark Cedar, and myself each week, and made available online and in hard-copy form at our worship venues.

Sermon-based groups aren't new, nor were they my idea, but I've become fond of the model for a number of reasons. I came across an article on www.smallgroups.com that clearly explains those reasons in detail. It's by Larry Osborne, author of Sticky Church, and you can view it here.

I've recently been approached by several of our newer group leaders and told how much they like using the sermon-based Group Guide each week. Some have even stated that they were skeptical to begin with, but have really seen the benefit since they tried it out!

You can get the guide yourself on our website at www.desertspringsfamily.org, by clicking 'Connect With Ministries', then 'Life Groups'. The link is near the bottom of the page.